GREG GUTFELD: Companies should reconsider next time they weigh throwing their consumers under the woke bus


Greg Gutfeld discusses how Budweiser’s VP of marketing is taking heat over her push to have transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney become a brand partner on “Gutfeld!”


So let’s talk about Alissa Heinerscheid, Budweiser’s VP of Marketing. She’s having a rough few weeks, right? She hired female impersonator Dylan Mulvaney to sell beer when she should have listened to me and hired this guy. But with Jared. But if by some chance, you’re not caught up. It started April 1st after Mulvaney, a.k.a. PeeWee, Herman announced a partnership with Bud Light, who had a can made with Dylan’s picture on it. I thought it was an April Fool’s joke, like when I told those orphans I was adopting them. But it wasn’t. But now their stock price is suffering. In the past two weeks, Anheuser Busch has lost 5 billion, with a B as in B Cup. 

People haven’t been this disgusted by an ad since O.J. endorsed steak knives. So 5 billion lost. How do you like them adams apples? This never happened to Spuds Mackenzie, and Spud was played by a female dog. So he’s actually Bud Light’s first transgender spokesman or spokeswoman, technically a spokes****. The difference between spuds and Dylan – Spuds had a black eye, but Mulvaney gave the brand a black eye and Spuds was lovable. Mulvaney’s an annoying rash that won’t go away. Which brings us back to Alisa Heinerscheid. Just before the Mulvaney debacle blew up, she said this. 

So her job was to what? Put the brand out of its misery like a horse with a broken leg. Mission accomplished, Secretariat. Well, at least one Clydesdale still has a job. But she also said this. 

The new approach – alienate. Alienate those very fratty people from buying her product. Mission accomplished again. Bud Light could have put out a statement saying some cans were tainted with monkeypox and they wouldn’t have lost this much money. Instead, they found a joker who wears sports bras in bubble baths. I’m sorry. Frat boys hardly ever wear sports bras in the tub, even when I offer them an extra 20 bucks. 

Hell, Bud, why not finish the job and hire Meghan Markle to be the king of beers? And now Bud is throwing their VP under the bus over the whole thing, blaming a low level marketing staffer claiming the big wigs had no idea themselves. I haven’t seen such desperate ass covering since Brian Stelter split his pants at the Golden Corral. Fat butt. But it gets better. The Daily Caller did some digging, and apparently Heinerscheid is an expert when it comes to fratty behavior. Check out these pictures from 2006 on a now deleted Facebook page. Here she is getting fratty with some Rolling Rock, which might even be frattier than Bud Light. And I suspect there was some fratty behavior leading up to this snapshot. Yeah, Hashtag fratty. And here’s a Heinerscheid blowing up a condom like a balloon. 

Which is how I got fired from being a birthday party clown. Fratty or not fratty? I don’t know. And whatever is going on here, that’s what Dylan Mulvaney thinks he looks like. But really, all that stuff is fine. She was a college student at the time, so what? Hell, the name Heinerscheid even sounds like a German beer. She was just having fun. The problem is that now, as a woke, sanctimonious, creative performing her woke duties, she decided to poop on more parties than Joe Biden and a bouncy castle. Fact is, she was once one of the fun people that she’s now turning her back on. And now Bud Light sales are plummeting like a hot air balloon carrying the cast of The View. 

But look, I’m almost over this story, but not quite. I actually feel a little bad for Dylan. There’s nothing worse than becoming a story during a slow news cycle. And I bet the decision to hire her was just some dopey kid out of college who thought it would be cool to throw some trans into the faces of these fat, old white beer drinkers. And if you don’t like it, you got to be bigoted. But if you tell millions of people that your product isn’t intended for them anymore, what do you think is going to happen? They’d rather chug water from Don Lemon’s hot tub. Yeah. And only woke sheep like drones would think it’s wise to insert a lecture into a party beverage. 

And so Bud paid for it, something companies should consider the next time they weigh throwing their consumers under the woke bus, people will see through it. They no longer care. If you think it’s transphobic to criticize a company that openly insults you and it’s not transphobic to mock the worst spokesperson since Bill Cosby tried to sell us Jell-O PM. Wow. Yeah. Jello PM. Then in fact, if you held back your criticism because the person is trans, then really isn’t that textbook transphobia. It means you’re scared to speak your mind to them, which is exactly what the woke wants. 

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